Polyamory WeeklyAuthor: Minx
13 Nov 2018

Polyamory Weekly

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Tales from the front of responsible non-monogamy from a pansexual, kink-friendly point of view. For the full PW blog, visit www.polyweekly.com

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    564 Poly-friendly parentage law

    Lawyer Melissa Hall shares exciting news about the new parentage act being enacted in Washington state and hopefully, beyond.

    0:00 Introduction and host chat

    Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

    1:00 Host chat and announcements

    Let’s talk about the new Netflix show, Wanderlust. **SPOILERS FROM 4:30-9:30**

    9:30 Poly in the news

    Teen Vogue hits it out of the park again.

    10:30 Interview: Melissa Hall on new, poly-friendly parentage laws in the U.S.

    Melissa Hall shares updates to parentage laws in Washington state and adoptable throughout the U.S. The Parentage Act makes possible third-parent adoptions and establishes rules for de facto parentage. This enables third- (or fourth!)-parent adoptions. “Uniform law” means they’ll push to enact in all 50 states.

    New definitions of de facto parenting mean that the court can recognize people as parents when both the adult and kid see the kid as a parent, even if they aren’t a legal parent. Find Melissa on Twitter at @vrimj, online at www.Smol-law.com or via email at Melissa@smollaw.com.

    24:15 Feedback

    Alana writes in about episode 560 Poly and pregnant, saying that they had to revert to monogamy during her pregnancy due to hormones, stress, and the insecurities that surfaced.

    26:15 Happy poly moment

    Louise in the U.K. writes in to share a story of going from being lonely and polyunsaturated to being in the middle of a long squiggly polycule and full of NRE.

    28:15 How to make this podcast better

    Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

    Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”


  • Posted on 05 Nov 2018

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    563 A queer, poly superhero novel centering people of color? Yes, please!

    Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan have come out with a new superhero novel in which queerness, polyamory, and people of color are normalized.

    0:00 Introduction and host chat

    Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

    1:00 Host chat and announcements

    Poly Big Fun, an annual workshop and retreat for people who identify as polyamorous, will take place virtually on November 10th, 2018. Franklin Veaux will be presenting “My abuser is Woke: Recognizing abuse when an abuser is skilled in the language of social justice.” Joreth Innkeeper will be presenting “Breaking up in the poly community.” Visit www.polybigfun.com to register and find out more.

    3:00 Interview: a poly superhero fiction work

    Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan give us a taste of their new book, a superhero novel in centered on queer, poly people of color. Finally, a love triangle in which the existence of the triangle isn’t the source of conflict! In this world, “operators” are the dirtier, heroes-for-hire in a world where law-abiding superheroes get all the press. What happens when a superhero and an operator are in a relationship?

    Release is October 12, 2018 on Amazon; release party is October 24 at 6:00 in Philadelphia at Amalgam Comics and Coffee House. Alana is The Polyamorous Librarian online, on Facebook, and Patreon. Find Kevin as Poly Role Models on Tumblr, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Patreon.

    Follow For Hire on Facebook and Twitter.

    27:30 Thanks

    Thanks to Miryam for becoming our latest PW Playmate!

    27:45 How to make this podcast better

    Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

    Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”


  • Posted on 15 Oct 2018

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    562 Where do my ethics stop and my partner's begin?

    If my partner wants to date a long-time monogamous friend without her partner's explicit consent, how to I object without imposing my ethics on my partner?

    0:00 Introduction and host chat

    Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

    2:00 Where do my ethics end and my partner’s begin?

    Kate calls is uncomfortable with her partner’s new person of interest (POI), who is a lifetime friend and in a monogamous relationship. The POI says she is bringing up poly with her partner, and Kate, her partner, and the POI are currently negotiating physical contact for an upcoming meeting to discuss Kate’s partner and the POI’s relationship. Kate is worried about violating the POI’s relationship agreement with her mono partner.

    • We both see this essentially as cheating, and we don’t think it’s a good idea for your partner to ask you to watch him cheat.
    • Having meeting that doesn’t include the POI’s partner is duplicitous (or “skeevy”, as Minx calls it)
    • Can you trust a partner who is willing to violate someone else’s relationship agreement?
    • You can’t tell a grown-ass adult what to do, but you can control your own behavior. You can choose not to participate in the meeting, to insist on talking to the POI’s partner before the meeting to ensure transparency and consent, or you can choose to leave your existing relationship.

    15:45 How to make this podcast better

    Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

    Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”


  • Posted on 30 Sep 2018

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    561 Can poly work for a sexual mismatch?

    If our relationship is healthy, and I want more sex and to explore my bisexuality, will poly work for us?

    0:00 Introduction and host chat

    Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

    • What’s been going on with Minx, why we went on an unexpected hiatus (physical therapy for osteoarthritis).
    • We’re leaving for a 10-day vacation in Paris!
    • And we’ll be in Hawaii in January

    9:30 Can poly work for a sexual mismatch?

    Bryan is a bisexual man in Germany who loves his healthy relationship with his girlfriend of four years, except for one thing—he wants sex daily; she wants sex once a month. Can poly work for their sexual mismatch of their otherwise healthy relationship?

    • Yes, it can, if your relationship is otherwise healthy.
    • Unless what you really want is not more sex but more sex with your girlfriend--that won’t work.
    • Keep aware that even if you say you just want sex and no love/relationship—life doesn’t work like that.
    • Consider sex workers if you really just want more sex with no danger of anyone falling in love with anyone else. German FKK clubs are wonderful.
    • If you decide sex workers aren’t for you, take some time to discuss what you’re afraid of. Explore these discussions over time and while you’re in different moods, over weeks or even months.
    • Do your research, find more books to read. Find your community.

    22:30 Happy Poly Moment

    R shares a cookie-baking happy poly moment.

    25:30 How to make this podcast better

    Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

    Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”


  • Posted on 23 Sep 2018

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    560 Poly and pregnant

    Chloé is pregnant and now feeling possessive of her husband. Should she ask her metamour to find someone else to date so she's not so in love with Chloé's husband?

    0:00 Introduction and host chat

    Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

    2:00 Poly in the news

    An article came out in TIME Magazine, What Monogamous Couples Can Learn from Polyamorous Relationships, According to Experts, and it’s amazingly good! Here’s how poly folks can school monos, according to the article:

    • Communication
    • Defining the relationship
    • Practicing safe sex
    • Managing jealousy
    • Maintaining a sense of independence

    Read Alan’s writeup of this article as well as his exhaustive roundup post of similar past articles.

    14:00 Poly and pregnant

    Chloé and her husband each have a long-distance relationship outside their own, which they see a few times a year. She is now pregnant and feeling more territorial about her husband. She’s finding she wants her metamour not to be so in love with Chloé’s husband and to find her “own” primary.

    • Your feelings won’t change if your metamour finds someone else, because they are YOUR feelings. Your insecurity is yours to own and manage.
    • Try the And then what jealousy exercise as well as reviewing the other content we’ve done on jealousy.
    • Look inwards to your own feelings instead of outward at your metamour.
    • Your instinct to find a poly support network. Look both in life and online; we recommend the Poly Families Yahoo group.
    • Phone, video, or in-person are the best media for relationship conversations.

    22:30 Feedback

    Friggin Limey wrote a response to episode 558 on deciding when to give up on poly. He has given up on poly and decided that monogamy is what he needs.

    24:30 Happy Poly Moment

    Kimberly writes in with a happy poly moment about her partner moving in with the family! She also asks about when and how to come out at work with her new job—should she bring her poly family to the “bring your family” event occurring before she starts?

    31:15 Thank you!

    Welcome to Matthew and Jeff as new Poly Weekly Playmates!

    32:00 How to make this podcast better

    Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

    Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

     


  • Posted on 17 Sep 2018

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